Archive for June 2014: Page 3

Breakfast tartes.


Breakfast is a lot of fun when you don’t have to prepare it. The best part of my day is sauntering down in my nightgown, and then staying in it all day. The second best part of my day is waiting to see what amazing concoction Giselle has whipped up. It usually consists of two pounds of butter and a several hours of kneading.

Here is this morning’s creation. She started it at midnight, and of course you want to make it. Wash your face, throw on a pot of coffee, and be prepared to stay up ALL NIGHT.

To start, get yourself some puff pastry. You can find it in the freezer section of any reputable grocery store, so, yes, you’ll have to drive there now. Don’t put on your nightgown yet. Once you’re back home, thaw it for a few hours, while you drink a cup of Carte Noire and read about how Frenchmen can’t get you pregnant. Thank god I married a Spaniard. Preheat your oven to 425F.

Gently roll out the puff pastry, the way you gently peel off that facial mask that didn’t do anything. Cut it into four rectangles. Roll up the edges, but don’t try to be Picasso. Actually, Picasso would have made the edges very jagged, so go ahead. Just don’t focus on making it too perfect because this thing has to be ready by morning.

Go out to your chicken coup and hunt around for some eggs. Bring a flashlight. You’ll also want to head over the the herb wall to gather some basil, thyme, and eight ripe tomatoes. Once you’ve procured all of this, make your way back to your château and heat a pan over medium-high heat. Crack in the eggs and stir. They’re done almost immediately, so don’t go lounge. Transfer them to the pastry, throw on the herbs and two slices of bacon. Nestle in the tomatoes (I cut the large ones in half) and bake for 15-20 minutes. You’ll know when it’s done because the crust has browned, the eggs have solidified and you’ve had a mimosa.

Good morning, and enjoy breakfast, loves.

xxx, M.

  1. Sarah Boyd said...

    I only eat meals that take seven to fourteen hours to make. This looks lovely.

    June 10, 2014 at 5:05 pm
  2. Lucille said...

    Super jolie. Merci.

    June 10, 2014 at 6:37 pm
  3. Christi Jepsen said...

    And then you sleep until four o’clock, upon which Giselle presents the second meal of the day. Cheese.

    June 10, 2014 at 6:47 pm
  4. Christine Gray said...

    Breakfast is terrible when it’s noon and all I’ve done is clean up cheerios and cat vomit.

    June 10, 2014 at 7:03 pm
  5. Jean Artois said...

    Pancetta et fromage de chèvre fait la meilleure tarte. Essayez-le!

    June 10, 2014 at 7:18 pm
  6. Maureen Shaffer said...

    I grocery shop in my nightgown all the time.

    June 11, 2014 at 8:31 am
  7. Brian said...

    Do I kill the pigs to make the bacon or is this outsourced? Inquiring minds…

    June 11, 2014 at 10:33 pm