Archive for June 2014

Back to my roots.


God, I’m tired. Can you tell? Yesterday I realized that scaling the south wall to get to the rose terrace was ruining my self-tan. Then I realized that there must be a better way to change elevations. Then I realized stairs.

Whenever I grow tired of my ennui, I go primitive and channel my forebears that didn’t have time to worry about their nonexistent eyebrows, which is a very REAL concern for me. Plus, DIY stone stairs sound fun. Cavemen used stone for everything, right? Actually, I think the proper term is troglodytes. Actually, they didn’t even live in caves and were smarter than 95% of modern human beings. Oh, and they didn’t roam with the dinosaurs. Turn off the Flintstones and go read a book.

Anyway, back to my predicament. Heaving heavy stones temporarily takes my mind off of the fact that my fellow 1 percenters have more Balenciagas than I do. Realizing that everyone is ahead is depressing. The solution is to channel your inner Inca and give a big middle finger to Capitalism. Otherwise known as building stone steps from scratch. For this project, Pepito and I lugged three thousand pounds of stone from a crumbling church just up the road. We beveled, we joggled, we hand hawked and we finally sat down. I’ll sleep well tonight, loves.

xx,  Madeline.

  1. Maria Johnson said...

    I ruin my self-tan every time I sit around in 100 degree Iowa heat. I need to come to France.

    June 23, 2014 at 5:33 pm
  2. Katheryn Anthony said...

    Digging a trench or cleaning up explosive diarrhea from a baby crib also do the trick. Try those next time you’re bored with your chateau.

    June 23, 2014 at 8:41 pm
  3. Armina said...

    Difficile et jolie! Bravo, Madeline. xx

    June 24, 2014 at 2:12 am
  4. Susan said...

    Hand hawking sounds dirty.

    June 24, 2014 at 11:23 am
  5. Loyal Beauchamp said...

    Go lounge. You deserve it.

    June 24, 2014 at 6:22 pm
  6. Linda said...

    You are sooo right Madeline! I mean about mankind during the Paleolithic and Neolithic eras not being “primitive” peoples. Their corbelled stone roofing systems are something to behold. No mortar. No supports. Just smallish, flat stones woven together to form an enclosing roof. I mean, Madeline, could you do that?

    June 24, 2014 at 9:20 pm