Fortunately, I live in France because I can lounge next week and don’t have to suffer through Thanksgiving. Wait, you don’t know about that? Thanksgiving is an American “holiday”. Holiday, my ass. You get up, cry, make ten vats of food to feed an army of greedy behemoths that will launch themselves into your artfully arranged courtyard, get drunk, eat EVERYTHING, complain that their stomachs hurt, ruin your bathroom and then stumble home because they need a nap. What just happened?
I bet Native Americans were fond of restraint. Modern day Americans aren’t, and I just found out that you can buy turduken at a gun store. Fantastic. Really, the only way to lift your spirits during this spectacle of awful is to make a cute tablescape. I’m good at those and you can be too.
There’s gonna be a lot of food, so keep things simple. You could scatter a bunch of pumpkins and maybe some shafts of wheat, which would feel very “of the native land”. Or fill glass bowls with cranberries and votives. Maybe sprinkle some wild rice and leaves on the table. Or you could go full Bacchanal and make a cornucopia, but that’s a ton of work and you’ll probably be exhausted after making slider stuffing and onion ring casserole at 4:00 a.m.
Try to survive. See you on the other side.
Stuffing animals inside of other animals is as American as guns and apple pie.
November 20, 2014 at 4:30 pmCassandra, also as American as ranch.
November 20, 2014 at 4:43 pmIntrigued by slider stuffing. White Castle, perhaps? Onion ring casserole I would eat.
November 20, 2014 at 5:00 pmBingo. They also make a broccoli castlerole and castle balls, which intrigue me.
November 20, 2014 at 5:07 pmAmerican Thanksgiving has always baffled me. You eradicate a native people and celebrate with… ambrosia salad?
November 20, 2014 at 5:20 pmSo much to DIGEST here… I am all for stuffing a pie inside a cake and vice versa however. Gun stores happen 🙁 I am intrigued by castle balls: are they the same thing as Chateau Balls? I do like Thanksgiving because there is no gift giving and online Black hubbub. Chris’ family sounds like absolute heathens lol
November 21, 2014 at 1:04 pmJalapalomino, Château balls are slightly larger, slightly older, a bit more distinguished, but still terrible. But there are exceptions. And what on earth is BLACK FRIDAY? Sounds morose.
November 21, 2014 at 2:31 pm